WHY EVERY JUNKIE IS THE MOST DEVOUTLY RELIGIOUS PERSON THAT YOU KNOW because they understand that to truly know god, blood is always involved. because a syringe looks like a cross built for a purpose. because one side of god’s love is always sharp. because when you do it right, you can feel him in every capillary, every fiber of you, every shudder and flutter breath, because that’s why your eyes close, because you can’t focus your eyes in the presence of the lord, because god is good god is good is god is good is good is god is god is good. because you only truly miss grace when it was IN you. when it falls out of you in drops, when even your eye lashes can feel the absence, when your lungs and heart know a thousand ghost earthquakes, because your family is filled with unbelievers because the police are roman soldiers because the modern church is constructed out of the teeth of wolves. because you can only know that you are empty vessel when you are empty. Because knowing god takes work, seeking him out every day. ON THE TWENTY-SEVENTH DAY SINCE THE LAST TIME GOD WAS SEEN AT THE OFFICE St. Peter is wondering if Vahalla has had time to look at his resume yet. Temp angel morale has plummeted as they have fallen behind on the miracle quota for the third time this month. The angels have let their hygiene slip., Their smoke breaks are getting longer and longer. Uriel bangs his angelic fist on his desk and says “god dammit” and waits to be admonished for having the audacity to tell the boss what to do. No one says anything. He goes back to work dodging the creditors. The bills are piling up and changing colors like an angry autumn, and the office furniture rental company’s trucks hover in the parking lot like vultures. Satan stopped corrupting the hearts of men after the eighth day. Heaven’s lack of response has taken the fun out of the whole endeavor. The revelation that he has been living in his father’s basement for years slowly dawning across his crimson cheeks, he checks Craigslist for roommates. He looks for marketing jobs and wonders how much he should lie on his resume. THE RECENTLY RETIRED ARCH ANGEL URIEL TRIES HIS HAND AT MODERN PSYCHOLOGY Maybe what it is is you are twenty seven low tier angels knotted together a mass of spastic fluttering, each of the fifty four wings having it’s own trajectory, and that is why you are always in the same exact place that you started from, but you feel all the tremors and motion sickness or You are an army of left turns and every move brings you back to you or you are the newest incarnation of Whistler and you are painting yourself into a corner painting yourself into a corner painting yourself into a corner painting yourself or screaming looks good on you brings out the color in your cheeks tightens the muscles in your neck makes you bomb drop gorgeous or the suicide voice in you is correct. maybe it’s that you are lucky and tuned into the whispering voice of god and the last one who leaves is a rotten egg or your head is an apartment filled with monsters they have tipped over all of the furniture, they have their hands across the mouth of your conscience, and every tiny tiny death you deal yourself leaves one of them a corpse. he is unable to hurt you anymore and one day after the culling, after you turn you into a killing floor you will place your shaking and ragged palm to your ear and hear the pure you that you always assumed lived in you but for now, there is work to do. or you are a machine. you were designed poorly. it’s not your fault.
December 3, 2015