Three Poems About Job Interviews


Re: Resume 

Please note I’ve attached a phone number at the bottom of the page so you may reach 
me for an interview. I hope you can reach me. I have no area code. I’m just defending 
this area below my collar bone. I am building up my contacts like making any human 
connection is a contact sport please contact me please follow up please check to make 
sure my ribs rise and fall with my breaths and they quake into fault lines they shiver 
back into this familiar bedroom every time
Please hire me so I can claim experience and wealth please fire me so I can claim 
experience and wisdom
Please look at this resume so I can know I’m alive I’m alive I’m alive I was the 
last one to know but the first one to apply. I’m alive. Please consider me.

During the Interview

They asked me to take off my dress
Fluorescent lights moaned overhead
He wanted to see my skin
I said wait stop,
don’t do this to yourself
Don’t sign my checks from the outside in

Reese McNally says that I am “a shining example of a hard worker”

Mom said that I was the smartest person in the whole world
Mom said she never lied

Mrs. Seitz my 3rd grade teacher said that I showed proficiency in math 
(Mom said she was just being polite 
(but Mom doesn’t always doesn’t always tell the truth 
(I hope that doesn’t damage Mom’s credibility as a reference)))

I am still in love with the boyfriend that I was in love with 
two boyfriends ago, and have included him as a reference
give him a call and see if maybe he still loves me too?

Don’t trust anything that bitch Cheryl says

My old boyfriend? His name is Scott

Reese McNally says that I am “an excellent addition to any team”

Dad said so many nice things but I never heard them and that might have been another 
time that Mom lied

The last time I saw Scott he said “Your hair looks different” 
My hair was the same but I know he cares

Cheryl thinks I’m making up the positive testimony of Reese McNally
I think Cheryl should shut the fuck up 

About Beth May

Beth is a writer, actor, and freelance cat Instagrammer living in Phoenix, AZ. View all posts by Beth May

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