Happy Halloween

Today is about nightmares. We live in a nightmare.

I have long suffered from sleep paralysis. Upon settling into sleep I feel the presence of someone approaching, standing over me. When I try to move I can’t. Why I try to scream I can’t. Sometimes I wake myself up attempting to scream. Sometimes I spend what seems like hours trapped in this state, only to wake the next morning with a sore throat, exhausted.

For a long period of time I struggled with a substance abuse problem, in part because I wanted control over my consciousness, my sleep.

I feel like I’ve been trying to scream my whole life. Something isn’t right. Power is crushing us from all directions.

What is power?

Do you believe in the power of nightmares?

Do you accept the necessity of a state apparatus?

What you ever seen one person killing another? This is power. This is an attempt at statehood.

A state is an organized body of coercion, convincing its subordinates that they need it. To the state you trade your freewill for protection. To the state you grant a monopoly of force. You pay the state to kill children. You love the state.

You are a vessel for state thought. You are so full up with it that you can’t imagine another way of being. You only dream state dreams. You only speak state language. You only love state love. You only think state thought.

The state is standing over you. Try to scream.

Try to stop paying the state what it demands.

There are people with guns walking around outside, looking for trouble, killing people. The state has sent them.

There are people killing people everywhere for the state. This is freedom. Freedom to work. Freedom to buy. Freedom to drink yourself unconscious.

You cannot transcend the state through spirit. There is no spirit outside of state sanctioned spirit.
Accept this world to find peace in the next: This is state thought.

You cannot break your deal with the state. You are owned.

The state owns you. The state owns your dream.

Welcome to my nightmare.

About Adam Tedesco

Adam Tedesco is a founding editor of REALITY BEACH, a journal of new poetics. His recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Laurel Review, Gramma Weekly, Prelude, Pouch Powderkeg, Fanzine, Fence, and elsewhere. He is the author of several chapbooks, most recently HEART SUTRA, and ABLAZA (Lithic Press), and the forthcoming collection Mary Oliver (Lithic Press, 2019). View all posts by Adam Tedesco

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