Tag Archives: Autism

A Stylus Stuck In The Cerebral Cortex; Or, Being The Amour Fou Of The Spectrum Set PART I

Whenever I listen to music, I run the risk of engaging in a very painful, very frustrating, and very emotionally hellish battle. I am unable to simply listen to music. I am often drawn into a songs orbit, and if Im lucky, I can escape the tractor-beam hold it has on me.

Sometimes, though, I dont want to do that.

Sometimes, I let the song win. But I let it win with great hesitance, as I know that its hold on my soul might engulf me for longer than is necessary.

Let me clarify a point: when I saylonger than is necessary,were not talking about one repeated listen, or two, or five, or ten. Were talking hours. Were talking immense, intense listening, with me hitting PLAY automatically for an indefinite, undetermined period of time, until something inside me has had enough.

To fully comprehend the seriousness of that last paragraph, lets take a look at several examples from the past few months:

 

Voices Carry,by Til Tuesday. 23 listens.

Thats nearly three hours with Aimee Mann, and thats nearly three hours within the confines of an emotionally abusive relationship. Yikes!

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