Author Archives: Baruch Porras Hernandez

About Baruch Porras Hernandez

Baruch Porras-Hernandez is a writer, performer, poet, stand up comic, playwright, storyteller, literary organizer and curator from San Francisco California.

Four Poems – Baruch Porras Hernandez



Goal: Get the Macklemore haircut that everybody in fucking San Francisco fucking has
         Lose 150 pounds 
         Keep beard
         Get tats  
         Then only hang out quietly and mysteriously 
         with other gay tatted-skinny-hipsterbeards 
         stare off into space like baristas trying too hard to pretend not to care.

Goal: Lose 150 pounds. Get a spiky gay haircut with frosted tips
         Wear nothing but shorts and polo shirts. Call all my male friends, bro  
         Ignore all women. Only talk to men if we are talking about how to make money 
         Buy a giant house after displacing poor people. Never use it
         Kick brown children off of public soccer fields
         Slut shame men who are in open relationships
         Make fun of the word polyamory, have anonymous sex at the gym
         Go to Burning man
         My favorite movies will be Oceans 11 and Wolf of Wall Street
         Talk about how much I like HBOs Looking, people should really give it another chance
         Post pictures of myself at pool parties surrounded by gay men that look like me
         staring off into space like a poodle that has eaten too much dog food.
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