everything is melting in colorado
when my mother’s sister calls to tell me
she lost three fingers
but doesn’t mention which.
i number each of my own, palms down
build a snowman with my elbows
and crack my knuckles like code:
1 2 3 - 5 6 - - 9 10
she can still pick up a bottle.
1 2 3 4 5 - - 8 - 10
she will pull the trigger with the left hand.
- 2 3 4 - - 7 8 9 10
she can’t hitchhike.
i am suddenly very drunk
i have him trapped in the mudroom
he looks very handsome with short hair
and nothing like the boy i clawed my way out of
i wonder how much cheap beer we’ll have to drink before every conversation
we have stops tasting like false pretense
we are casually discussing cancer
while i continuously count to seven in my head.